My brother Peter wrote the following appreciation of my mother who died on June 21st. Many thanks to all those who have been so kind and supportive to us during this time. I am really grateful.
Mammy was born in 1932 in the heart of the Liberties. Her maiden name is Theresa Barnes and her mother’s maiden name was Margaret Fallon. The Barnes ancestry is rooted in
Chester
where my mother’s grandfather served in the British army and the Fallon family were originally from Co Meath. She was an only child. This was quite unusual for the time but it explains a lot about her self-reliance and resourcefulness. Mammy had fascinating and detailed memories from her very early childhood that seems to have been but sometimes lonely. She was an early reader and was clever in school. She’s is an example of someone who used education as a route out of poverty. At the age of six she persuaded her parents to move into relatively better accommodation (a two-roomed shared tenement with another family who were relatives). She also persuaded her parents to let her change schools. In primary school she aimed to obtain a scholarship to secondary education. On the strength of her own abilities, hard work and clarity of purpose she obtained a place in the
St Louis
boarding school in Monaghan along with the financial support to pay for it.
By her own accounts she had a tremendous time in Monaghan and excelled academically as well as in singing and drama. She obtained one of the best leaving certs in the country and on the strength of this was expected to take a well-earned scholarship to proceed to third level education in the NUI but instead decided to enter religious life as a novice in the
St Louis
order of nuns. Within a short time of beginning her novitiate she contracted TB. She seemed to be able to get no help for her illness from her superiors and realized that if she didn’t leave the novitiate she would probably die. She spent time in a TB recovery ward in
Dublin
and eventually returned to full health. She worked for her relative Charlie Broklebank in his optician business for a while and then worked in Cavendish’s in Grafton St where she bumped into
Daniel Dunne
from Donnybrook as he was racing down a flight of stairs. She was 21 years old when they married. He was 18 years older and had come from quite a different kind of childhood. They juggled precarious financial circumstances and succeeded in making a move from a flat in Rathgar to
Dodder Park Road
. They were a few years married before they had kids but they quickly made up time on this front once they got started.
Times were tough for parents of large families at that time. There was no car, no central heating, no washing machine or dryer, no disposable nappies, no supermarkets. Plastic pants, rubber undersheets, and a big pram for carrying the shopping were considered tremendous assets. A sewing machine was essential. Probably half the cloths the family wore in the early years were home made and these were usually better made than the other half that came from Frawley’s on
Thomas Street
. But there was great support from neighbours and my mother always insisted that these were the happiest days of her life. She continued to read thousands of books. She sang in the Rathfarnham and Carmelite choirs. There was even a family holiday in Bettystown and numerous trips to Seapoint in the summer time.
The last few of her children were born by caesarean section and one of these C-sections didn’t go well and for a second time in her life my mother came close to death. This was probably a low point for the family in many ways but things were somehow held together. In 1972 my mother decided that a move to
Meadow
Park
would solve a lot of financial difficulties. As the family grew up and my dad’s working years were dwindling my mother realized that she would have to become the main bread-winner. She took up the place in university that she had won so many years earlier. She successfully juggled child rearing with a night-time study for a BA degree in UCD. This was followed by a year of a H.Dip in Education and she was then lucky in getting a teaching job so close to home in Notre Dame in Churchtown. For the most part she liked her job and she tried to encourage her students in the same way that she encouraged her children. There seemed to be no end to the personal sacrifices Mammy made to ensure that the family had a good education. She was always there to provide help and advice to all the family never forgetting birthdays or anniversaries. When it was necessary she could be quite proactive in making sure that her children didn’t make bad choices. She said she had always just tried to do what she felt was best for her children. In later years she extended her support network to include grand children, other relatives, friends and neighbours. As the family progressively fled the nest she and Daniel senior came to know each other better and they had some great holiday trips together (Italia ’90 was a particular high point). She continued to read avidly and also tried to keep her mind sharp by doing crossword puzzles and the like.
Although Mammy was a very dedicated Catholic in her early life she was sometimes sceptical and other times open-minded about alternative religions and movements within the church. In the end she had come to very personal and deep conclusions about the meaning of life and the here-after. She was always very clear about what she wanted and she took this approach when health issues surfaced. After a hip operation that was not very successful she managed to maintain her independence by arranging a new layout for the house. When the hip problem was eventually sorted out she was able to become more involved again and although we often thought of her as having few close friends, she was actually making good friends on a constant basis throughout her last few years in various activities. In the last year or so she took was very active in caring for Tommy Carroll who had tragically ended-up in a coma following an accident.
We miss her, we were shocked at the speed of her last decline and it will be a while before we have really come to the full realization of what has happened. Tommy’s situation convinced her that she did not want much medical intervention in her own final journey and that is exactly how it was. Mammy was brave in the face of death and she went forward with great dignity. All the family managed to be there for her last moments. We all had a chance to tell her how much we loved her and to return a fraction of the love she had given us. We are as convinced as she was that this life is part of something bigger. We believe she is somewhere good with her own mother, father, husband and friends. We believe she is somehow with us too.
written by Peter Dunne
